Why Feelings are Smarter than Thoughts & 3 Tips to Translate Them

Have you ever had a feeling about something but couldn’t explain why you knew it was right? A gut instinct? A hunch?

And have you ever chosen not to listen to that gut instinct simply because you couldn’t give a logical explanation for it, but then regretted ignoring it later?

I know I have! Too many times have I looked back on a situation and thought, “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have done that.” But in the moment mentally convinced myself otherwise.

Why do we ignore our intuition?

I believe it’s because we’ve lost sight of recognising our feelings and sensations as highly intelligent rapid messages coming from our body and greater awareness, and instead emphasised thoughts and mind as the ultimate intelligence.

But really, what’s faster our thoughts or our feelings?

Imagine someone you’re very attracted to has just walked into the room and flashed a big smile and sexy wink at you. What happens first:
a) Your heart rate goes up, you blush, you feel little butterflies etc.
b) You think, ‘He/She is so hot/awesome/amazing/sexy, wow, what does that smile and wink mean? That made me feel good.’

I don’t need a scientific study to tell me that most of us will pick a) . We FEEL the stimulus from our environment first and then our thoughts catch up to categorise, analyse and compartmentalise the experience.

To be fair, the mind does this generally quite rapidly, but the truth is that our sensations are always the first responders to our experience, sending us information about how that environmental stimulus does and will effect us.

How about with our health?

If you’ve ever had any kind of illness what was the first thing that led you to know something wasn’t right? I’d wager quite a big bet that is was a feeling. Maybe simply a physical feeling like pain or fatigue, or sometimes a feeling that’s harder to pin point.

If you think about any of your health issues, how long did you feel that feeling before checking it out further? How often have you ignored it or written it off until it was unbearable to ignore?

And have you ever wished you’d explored that pain or feeling earlier because then it would have been easier to heal, or at least you would have healed sooner and not suffered as long?

I hear people tell me stories like this all the time. And I know that I have regretted ignoring the signs of my body calling out for help far too often. And when I’ve done that they never go quiet they just start yelling louder.

Our feelings are messages from the body.

Sensations and feelings are not arbitrary or mystical, they are simply the way our body communicates to us how environmental influences are impacting us.

The environmental influences could be something we eat or drink, breath, touch, listen to or even see. And bazaar enough, biologically our own thoughts are considered environmental influences.

The science of epigenetic research shows that even our genes respond to environmental stimuli, and the type of thoughts we continually think create a physiological response that actually impacts how genes express.

Not to mentions our state of mind also influence our nervous system, how we digest, breath, our heart rate and so much more.

Feelings are a language and we need to learn how to read them.

Our physical sensations or feelings are the language of the body giving us feedback about how the environment is influencing us as well as how our thoughts our influencing us, and we’d be wise to pay attention and start learning this language.

Doing breath body mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation are one of the greatest ways to become more fluent in the language of feelings and sensations.

Emotions are defined as “strong feelings deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.” So our emotions too are messages conveying the intelligence of the body that we can listen to and be guided by.

[infobox]3 Tips to Translate Your Feelings

1. Moving and scan your body every morning.

Approach each morning with movement and use it as a question to the self, checking in and seeing how you feel. Once you’ve noticed the dominant sensations arising simply ask, “What is this telling me about my health, life or mind set? What do I need today, right now to feel balanced?”

2. Use Feelings as a GPS Sat Nav System.

I like to think of my sensations in this way, as if they are constantly giving me directions. When I get a bad feeling I take it as a little warning sign saying, “Wrong direction! Wrong direction! Please proceed in the in the other direction.”

Then I simply ask myself, “What is the right direction?” I know it’s the right direction because when I imagine it or start going in that direction is feels good. That simple.

3. Voice Dialogue with Parts of Your Body. 

Voice dialogue is a technique that came from Dr. Hal and Dr. Sidra Stone, psychologists who developed a method of speaking to the different aspects of yourself. Traditionally it is used to speak to the different aspect of your psyche by giving each a voice, but you can also give a voice to various parts of your body.

I’ve work with people who’ve given a voice to their eyes, injured knee that wouldn’t heal, colon and immune system that was having an autoimmune response.

The basic idea is simple to have a conversation with this part of your self. You can do this in your head, while meditating or through journaling.

Begin by asking questions to it. For example, if you’re having digestive issues you could ask your stomach and intestines, “How are you feeling today? What makes you feel that way? What makes you feel good? What makes you feel bad? What would you like to tell me?

Simply allow the response to be natural and as if the stomach were speaking. For example, “I’m feeling a bit bloated today. I couldn’t really process all those almonds. I’d like to tell you just to relax, no need to rush around so much.” Just have a conversations as if it were a friend…after all, we want to befriend our bodies, care for them and love, not put demands on them as if they were lifeless machines. Every single cell in your body carries your soul and inner light, we are far from machine like![/infobox]

Trust your feelings and yourself!

Sadly, most of us weren’t taught these basic skills so we have a lot of doubt or numbness around our feelings and sensations.

Remember this is how we are designed to be and there is so much evolutionary and biological intelligence and validity to our feelings — even if we can’t logically explain them.

Just like learning any language it can be quite overwhelming at first and hard to understand, but the more you practice the easier it becomes until one day you realise you’re fluent and having a fantastic conversation without second guessing.

What are you’re favourite ways to understand the language of feelings and sensations?

Resources:

http://www.sci-news.com/othersciences/psychology/science-positive-psychology-gene-expression-humans-01305.html

http://www.nature.com/scitable/topicpage/epigenetic-influences-and-disease-895

http://www.voicedialogueinternational.com/index-intro.htm

How to Stop the War on Yourself & Be Empowered by Non-violence

We all desire peace in the world, but then why do we wage war on ourselves? We all aspire to be non-violent, but then harm ourselves in subtle ways all the time.

Gandhi said, “non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.” Last week as we explored how to actively practice non-violence in my yoga lifestyle programs, I was remind how truly powerful this principle is.

Ahimsa, non-violence, and the first principle of the Eight Limbs of Yoga, means so much more than just abstaining from violent acts, but means cultivating an attitude of kindness, caring and compassion toward all things. That’s right, ALL things! And this my friend includes the neighbour you detest, your cranky boss but most importantly YOURSELF!

Most of us think, “sure I’m non-violent, I don’t carry weapons or beat people up.” But those are obvious forms of violence that, while horrible, may have less impact than the insidious forms of violence we all tend to act out each day.

As promoters of peace in the world we must first remember that peace begin with ourselves. 

I know when I’m being highly self critical I tend to judge others more harshly. When I’m overly tired and not taking care of myself I don’t have energy to give to, care for and be as kind to others. When I’m battling with my body I rarely treat it well or feel my best in the world.

On the other hand, when I’m well rested, nourished and self loving I naturally act this way to the people around me. I have more energy for others and for my dreams. I’m more productive and creative and my positive impact on the world increases.

The opposite of self violence is self care and self love. 

When we are not caring for and loving ourselves we are actually performing acts of violence —small, subtle acts of violence that accumulatively have a massive impact on our health and the world.

The World Health Organisation now names lifestyle diseases like cancers, heart disease and diabetes as the number one killers in the world. It’s not war waged with guns and tanks, but a subtle war we all wage on ourselves when we choose lifestyles that harm us.

We see this subtle war on ourselves through poor nutrition, drug and alcohol abuse; through depriving ourselves of sleep in order to chase achievement and “success”; perfectionism and seriously damaging self criticism, eating disorders and body dismorphia; through pushing our bodies too hard or not listening to them.

Basically, through wearing ourselves out and not honouring and appreciating this body that carries us through life. This is the opposite of Ahimsa, non-violence, and it disempowers us as individuals and as a society.

The more we practice non-violence by taking care of ourselves the better we impact the world. 

The bazaar thing is that we often feel guilty about taking care of ourselves, like it’s a luxury. But if you really think about the cost of self neglect on your health, productivity, relationships, creativity and greater cost to society, you’ll realise this is no luxury — it’s a responsibility!

Start practicing non-violence and taking better care of yourself right now! Here’s how: 

1. Identify one subtle act or habit of self violence that you’d like to change this week. This could be anything like putting yourself down, drinking that extra glass of wine that makes you feel drained, going to bed too late or over eating junk food.

1. Think about what you get out of this self violent habit. We only do anything because we get something out of it, even if it’s bad for us. When we want to break a bad habit we have to replace it with something that gives us a similar benefit but doesn’t cause us harm. So get clear on what benefit you get from this habit. It could be comfort, stimulation, distraction, motivation.

1. Pick a replacement that has a similar benefit but doesn’t harm you. For example, if I over eat to the extreme every night when I’m alone to feel comforted, I could choose to do a self loving and comforting practice like oil massage or reading inspiring quotes, or calling a friend before I eat dinner at night. That way I feel comforted by something other than food.

1. Make a personal dedication to non-violence with yourself. For example, my dedications is: I am dedicated to believing in myself, loving myself and knowing that I am worthy of love no matter what my imperfections are.

Enjoy (and trust me you will, practicing this makes everyone feel so much happier)!!

Please share with us your personal dedication to non-violence with yourself! 

How to Feel Nourished and Balanced in Winter

Lately I’ve found myself much less ready to crawl out of my warm covers in the morning and almost too ready to crawl into them at the end of the day.

It’s the first week of Winter here in the Southern hemisphere and I feel the hibernation instinct kicking in as the days get shorter and temperatures drop… I also see myself kicking and complaining in protest.

I’m a summer baby. I love the heat and I’ve been slightly obsessed with living an endless summer life for the past 6 years by traveling to or living in warm destinations when the weather gets cold.

But after talking to a friend about how much she loves cold weather and getting cosy this time of year I stopped to ponder why I resist it so much… and I realised a lot of it has to do with not wanting to slow down.

I love getting outdoors every day at the crack of dawn, going on weekend adventures with friends and almost every week I come up with a new project or idea I want to pursue. In other words I love being active. I’m comfortable being active, and winter makes me want to slow down…which makes me feel uncomfortable, even guilty.

If I simply want to wrap up at night and watch a movie or start my day slowly with a cup of tea I sometimes think, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I feeling so slow?” But the truth is nothing is wrong, except my perspective.

One of the most important lessons I continue to learn from my studies and dedication to practicing Ayurveda and Yoga is that when we align to Nature’s rhythms we thrive, and when when we resist Nature’s rhythms we struggle.

Well, this insight into my distain for winter was a real revelation in being misaligned with Nature’s rhythms…and I know I’m not alone. Our culture by and large is much more comfortable with being active and teaches us that self worth and success come from productivity.

But if we listen to Nature instead of modern culture (which is massively out of sync with the natural world resulting in an epidemic of lifestyle disease, mass destruction of biodiversity and rapid decline in natural resources)…if we instead listen to the rhythm of Nature, we see that in Winter she is singing to us all a lulu by of slowing down.

In Winter numerous plants go dormant and farmers allow the fields to lay fallow, knowing that this is a vital period of rest to prepare for Spring, the season of productivity. Many animals and insects hibernate or rest for the same reason.

It only makes sense that we would need to do the same! To pulsate between productivity and rest, this is the rhythm of Nature. 

If the fields never lay fallow the soil eventually becomes depleted of all nutrients and won’t support any production at all.

I’m starting to shift my perspective on Winter, and honour it as a time of resting and replenishing my inner soil, so that come Spring I have ample mental, physical and spiritual nutrients to “spring” out of bed and enjoy all the activities and innovating my heart desires.

Aligning to nature’s rhythms is one of the most important concepts of living a yoga lifestyle, but so is the continuous, daily pursuit of balance.  

Winter is considered the Kapha time of year according to Ayurveda, which means the heavier, moister elements of water and earth dominate. 

This natural heaviness lends perfectly to resting, but can also lead to an imbalance of too much water and earth — heaviness, lethargy, depression, mucus, weight gain.

So, to truly let Winter nourish us, we must let ourselves drop into the natural heaviness of the season in a balanced and mindful way.

Take Action: Feel Nourished and Balanced by Winter

1. Give yourself permission to slow down. Feel good about going to bed earlier, resting, reading, drinking copious amounts of warm tea and introverting. Use the darker evenings as time to self care, take hot baths and do self oil massage. This is the time for it. The long sunny days will be back soon enough with all their activities and socialising.

1. Stop eating like it’s summer.  I am also a serious salad lover, but Ayurveda teaches us that eating cold, raw food in the Winter can throw our bodies into a serious imbalance. Instead we’re better nourished by warm soups, cooked veggies and spices. When I don’t adjust my diet to match the season I can really feel it. Check out this quick Ayurvedic food guide for Winter. More on this in my next blog.

1. Exercise and heat the body in the morning. While we want to allow for slowing down and resting, we also want to avoid stagnation (remember, it’s all about balance). It’s very important to do heating exercise in the winter to counter balance the cold and tendency toward depression. Increasing the circulatory and respiratory system will also boost your immunity and keep you more resilient to seasonal colds and excess mucus. I find starting slower, warming the joints and muscles, then increasing intensity works best in Winter.

Share with us some of your favourite ways to find nourishment and balance in winter! 

Letting Go Made Easy, 3 Simple Tips

There is nothing more frustrating to me at times than being told to “let it go.” I get that crazy punch-them-in-the-face mental flash, then have to remind myself I’m a yogi and repeat ahimsa, non-violence, until I chill out.

This phrase can trigger me so much because it’s in exactly those moments that I’d love more than anything to “let it go,” but some part of me keeps holding on…to something that’s happened, or might happen…and I feel like screaming, “can’t you see I’m trying!”

The great irony is that I’ve built a life and career around telling/helping people to “let it go.”

As frustrating as it can be I’m passionate about “letting it go” because I know it’s in the letting go that I find my peace, my healing, my wisdom, inner light, purpose and guidance.

It’s pure bliss once I’ve broken the threshold of resistance, either physically or mentally/emotionally with an issue.

Each time I “let go” I promise myself I won’t hold onto grudges or worry or fear or my tight shoulders or hips ever again. Ha! And then life happens and inevitably I’ll cycle back to holding onto something that blocks my energy and brings me down…until I re-remember the path of letting go.

Thankfully I remember a lot more quickly these days and hold on a lot less frequently…and I attribute that shift to a regular practice of yoga, mediation and EFT — three tools that have changed my life and made finding the path of least resistance much easier.

The key is to PRACTICE REGULARLY. I find doing even 5 minutes of meditation, yoga or tapping a day is much much more impactful overall than doing massive sessions rarely.

To me these practises are like short cuts to let go of blockages and BE present.

I was inspired to write this post after listening to an interview for Mindful in May with meditation teacher Mark Coleman yesterday, who said, rather than focus on letting go, focus on letting be. 

He explained that letting go was not something we do but rather a result of letting be. Letting be means observation and acceptance. When we practice these two things, the natural result is a letting go.

I really resonated with that and it made me understand why yoga, meditation and EFT work so well — they are all practices of observation and acceptance.

I want to share with you how to make letting go easier by using these tools in a simple, day to day way.

Breath Body Practice 

To me ANY mindful breath body practice is yoga. Yoga is not just about contorting our bodies into funny poses, it’s really about the mindfulness required to contort our bodies or balance on our hands. That said, doing really simple movements can generate just as much mindfulness.

The point is, when we move our body and connect to our breath, our attention is called to the present moment and our brain chemistry changes — our senses heighten, we feel more, and it causes us to forget about future or past worries (even if just momentarily).

The body can only ever BE IN THE NOW, so any mindful breath body practice creates a state of “being” that leads to letting go.

That’s part of why we feel so damn good after yoga, or come up with solutions that previously evaded us.

TIP: What ever your yoga is (surfing, running, walking, dancing, asana…any mindful movement), do it EVERY DAY as a practice even if just for five minutes, knowing it’s a practice of BEING PRESENT, which creates space to let go.

Meditation

Letting be is a combination of observation and acceptance, and meditation is the mighty act of self observation. 

Through meditation we cultivate an ability to sustain our focus on ourselves without reacting to what we see.

This non-reaction piece is huge. Some days I sit down and my mind is running with so many thoughts I feel leagues away from the ideal vision of peaceful meditation. But I sit anyway and I practice watching all those thoughts.

I can’t stop the thoughts but I can feel separate from them. I can remember I am not my thoughts or sensations, I am just experiencing them. 

This act of not identifying with the thoughts or sensations is so powerful because it leads to letting be and letting go.

We have to practice this mindset, like building muscular strength, and that’s why even when my mediation practice feels far from peaceful I know it’s worth doing.

TIP: Even if you think you don’t know how to meditate and you’re head is full of a thousand and eight thoughts, just pause, close your eyes, sit or stand still, observe those thoughts and remind yourself you are more than your thoughts or sensations. Even one minute a day makes a difference!

E.F.T. — Stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, commonly known as “tapping,” and has been one of the biggest positive influences in my life over the past few years.

It’s so simple that it almost feel ridiculous, but man it’s powerful. (The older I get the more I realise the simple things are often the most powerful).

In the E.F.T. technique we tap on a series of easy to remember points on the body that correlate to the meridian system. Much like acupuncturists needling points to stimulate and move energy (especially stuck energy) tapping stimulates all of the meridian lines, moves energy, and increases somatic awareness.

As you tap these specific points you also state what’s bothering you, where you feel it in your body and then say, “and I love and accept myself anyway.” That’s the basic and anybody can do it

ACCEPTING is the second part of letting be. Sometimes it’s hard to say those simple words “I love and accept.” It feels lame or makes you realise how much you haven’t been accepting. But this may be one of the most potent phrases in the English language!

I’ve found in my own experience and when facilitating a session (I loved this practice so much I recently became a qualified EFT practitioner), is that these simple words coupled with stimulating energy can catalyse an embodiment of acceptance that is both cathartic and profoundly transformational.

TIP: Practice tapping regularly at home (see youtube link). If you can’t remember the pattern juts tap the sternum (breast bone), name out loud the issue, how it feels in your body starting with “Even though xxx…” followed by “I love and accept myself anyway.” End with placing your hands on your heart centre and taking three deep breaths.

I’d love to hear what tools you’ve found in your life help you let be and let go, share with the community below!

Why We Don’t Meditate and How to Get Over It

The international Mindful in May campaign has inspired me to dedicate May to meditation and to sharing with you the useful tips and information I’ve learned over the years that have helped me develop a meditation practice.

Mediation has improved my life in so many ways and has become one of my most valued personal tools for health and self care. That said I still find myself missing meditations, hitting obstacles to my practice and understand the struggle with consistency.

We can talk about meditation all day long, but results come from actually doing it. So before I launch into the benefits of meditation and dork out on neuroscience details I thought it more valuable to discuss what gets in the way of meditation and how to move past that.

Most Common Reasons for Not Meditating 

1. I don’t have the time to mediate. 

I get it, we all lead full lives and time is the most precious asset we have, so who has time to just sit there with there eyes closed doing nothing, right?!

First of all, before you puff your chest up and say “yay!”, take a moment to think about all the times in your day spent unfocused and therefore unproductive and wasting time? Or getting sucked into an internet time warp (thanks Facebook and Youtube). Or obsessing on something you really wish you weren’t wasting your time thinking about?

I’ve found that even taking 5 minutes to meditate makes me so much more focused on what really matters and efficient that I magically seem to have more time on my hands AND get just as much done.

You don’t have to mediate for 20 minutes or sit in silence for 10 days to feel the effects, you just have to do it.

I believe you can make a huge impact with even one minute of meditation. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, count to 60 and let yourself slow down for a minute. Do this multiple times through the day in moments when you’d otherwise be wasting your time and you’ll start to find more time than you ever realised you had.

1. I don’t know how to mediate.

Meditation can be as complex or simple as you want to make it. What I’ve found over the years is that simple is often the most effective, not to mention practical.

Meditation unfortunately is sometimes shrouded in cryptic ritual and seems only for the enlightened or initiated. But the truth is, it’s for everyone, it’s right at your finger tips and can be super easy.

The easiest first step is to sit comfortably (you don’t have to sit on the floor in lotus, just find a chair, support your back, lay down, whatever supports your body).

Then close your eyes and pay attention to your breath. You can also repeat one word (called a mantra) like “Aum” or “Love” or “I am.”

Don’t worry too much about getting it right, the word or breath are simply vehicles to focus the mind and in so doing create a sense of stillness.

Yes, thoughts will come up, that’s natural, no problem (more on that next blog). The key is to let them come and then let them go, don’t hold on to the thoughts. Keep gently and quietly coming back to the focus on your breath or mantra.

Sit for 5 to 20 minutes a day and this alone will have a huge impact on your nervous system, mind, body and life.

1. I can’t sit still and I get anxious.

First of all you don’t have to sit perfectly still.

Try not to fidget and move around too much, that become a distraction, but be easy with yourself. If your foot goes numb just shift until you’re more comfortable and then comeback to your simple focus of breath or mantra.

Stuff comes up a lot in meditation, like anxiety, sadness, frustration, worries and memories. This is actually part of the benefit of meditation. I like to think of it as psychic digestion. We are giving our subconscious an opportunity to process the experiences of life, and that can bring up a whole lot of feelings.

Again, the key is to let them go. Then gently and quietly come back to your breath or mantra. This is called releasing Samskara, and one of the greatest benefits of a meditation practice.

1. I forget to mediate.

We want to make mediation a habit, and forming a habit doesn’t just happen in some haphazard way.

Habits need to be triggered by something that reminds us to do them. Many of our daily habits are triggered subconsciously, but if we want to form a new habit we can consciously choose something to trigger it.

Think of things you do every day, like put on the kettle, brush your teeth, take your makeup off at the end of the day, go for coffee in the afternoon.

Choose one that make sense to you and make that your trigger for meditation. Write it down. For example, when I put the kettle on in the morning that reminds me to sit down and meditate (even if it’s just for 5 minutes). I even used to have a sticky note on my kettle to remind me.

1. I don’t see the point. 

What’s the point of anything if it’s not connected to your spirit, heart and purpose? To me, meditation is all about FEELING the connection to your highest self, but it also has an endless list of medical, physical and psychological benefits.

To  name a few:

• Reduces blood pressure
• Improves digestion
• Generates peace, calm and happiness
• Increases mental clarity and creativity
• Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
• It lowers oxygen consumption and decreases respiratory rate.
• Slow aging process

The list goes on, for more motivation check out 100 Beneftis of Meditation or 20 Scientific Reasons to Start Meditating Today.

I hope this has helps you overcome some of your hurtles to meditation! As part of Mindful in May I’ll be sharing posts all about Meditation, stay tuned for next week’s blog debunking common misunderstandings about how to meditate.

If you want to support my Mindful in May Charity page and help bringing water to impoverished communities in Uganda the world and myself will be grateful for your generosity!

As a thank you to all those who donate to the charity I’ll be sending a series of free meditation recordings that I’ve made. Thanks in advance for your support!

I’ll also be hosting a free group meditation and potent discussion about how to make meditation part of your life at Qi Yoga in Freshwater on the 31st at 7pm. Mark your calendars and see you there!